Being an adult is a juggling act. Between working, spending time with family, and attempting to take care of yourself, it seems you have no time to spare. This busy lifestyle inevitably leads to the demise of your adult friendships.
The fact of the matter is, you don’t have to remain a friendless adult. Haven’t reached out to your friends in months? Don’t worry—with these tips, you’re bound to maintain current friendships, or rekindle any lost ones.
1. Be Present
Even if you haven’t talked to your friend in a long time, make sure to send them a text on their birthday. Your friend needs to know that you care, and that you’re still willing to be a part of their life. The same goes for any other important milestone—congratulate your friends on engagements and job promotions even if they don’t tell you directly.
One short and simple congratulatory text can revive a friendship. It gives you the chance to catch up, and gets the conversation rolling again.
2. Stop Flaking
When your friend makes a plan with you, try your best not to back out last minute. Canceling is a major letdown—do it too much and your friend will start to lose trust in you. In the unfortunate case that you do have to cancel, immediately reschedule a better date.
To avoid becoming a flake, you just shouldn’t accept plans unless you’re sure that you can go. On the days you’re feeling tired and get tempted to cancel your plans, just know that your friend probably feels the same way. The only difference is that your friend is willing to sacrifice a day of relaxation just to see you!
3. Start a Group Chat
What better way to chat with all of your friends at once than with a group chat? Start a chat over text, Messenger, WhatsApp, Telegram, or your other favorite messaging app.
A group chat is the perfect place to share funny pictures you found online, have engaging conversations, or make plans. Once you create the group chat, make sure you actually contribute to the conversations—it’s no fun when only one person is putting in the effort.
4. Make Time to Hang Out
You have a busy life, and so do your friends. However, that doesn’t mean you have absolutely no free time. Can’t you spare an hour or two out of your week to grab a quick lunch with your friends? Ideally, you should aside time at least once a week (or even once a month) just to hang out with your friends.
Don’t forget to plan the occasional bigger outing in between bite-sized hangouts. Make plans to see a concert, go to a winery, or head to the beach a few weeks in advance to ensure all of your friends clear their schedule.
5. Accept That Friendships Change
The friends you made in high school won’t always stay the same. A person’s interests and attitudes change over time. Not only that, but you won’t see each other in school every day like you used to, and that’s okay. Friendships evolve, it’s just a matter of keeping them alive.
6. Do Frequent Check-Ins
Make it a point to text your friend at least once a week. Check in to ask how their job is going and what they’ve been up to. Don’t forget to let them in on any updates in your life as well.
While texting is a great way to keep in touch, you should pick up the phone and call them as well. It may sound old-fashioned, but hearing your friend’s voice offers a much more personal conversation than just plain texting. Frequent phone calls are even more essential when you have a long-distance friendship.
7. Know When Enough Is Enough
You might put in a ton of effort to maintain a friendship, only to find your friend flaking on you, and replying to your texts extremely late. Unfortunately, some friendships aren’t worth the hard work. In this case, you have to choose which friends are worth keeping.
That doesn’t mean you should cut off all of your friends who haven’t been very responsive—sometimes your friends need space, or they might be dealing with difficult times. Although these friends might not want to get together frequently, just offer your support whenever they need you.
Don’t Let Your Friendships Fizzle Out
Once you start actively talking and getting together with your friends, don’t stop! Always keep the lines of communication open.
While you’re on the self-improvement kick, become an even better friend by learning how to be someone who people like hanging around.